Losing it

This has been a month like no other for me. God is really messing with my head. When I believe I have things figured out, I don't. When I think I know the direction I need to go I get lost. I really feel as if I am on a train flying down the tracks out of control. The trip to NYC was amazing. I can't seem to get past it though. I think about it everyday. But I really do not have a desire to leave Fayetteville. My wife (songbirdtiff) and I want to adopt. We meet some kids and we are not sure they are the ones we are suppose to adopt. I get a job that I like and is really flexible, but I feel as if I may have to head somewhere else. None of these things are difficult or unpleasant. However, I feel as if someone is about to jump out of the shadows and get me.
I know Christ said," that whomever loses his life will find it in Me." And He also said that "if we try to find out life we will lose it." I think I am losing it. I feel like an unmade bed. It is like when you travel and then return and the first few days are strange. Ya know what I mean? So what does this mean?
I think God is about to do something that will turn everything I know upside down, or I am going insane. One of the two. I am really needing prayer right now. To be clear I am neither sad, worried, or anxious about anything. So I am praying that God would clear some things up. Can you do the same? Much thanks and love!
J